Iron Sky = free lobotomy with every viewing

Have you ever watched a trailer and thought "that looks so bad it's probably going to be good?". Well in this case that statement did not apply.

Rating 1 out of 5

The movie starts with a couple of astronauts landing on the moon and coming across a hidden Nazi base on the dark side. A Sarah Palin like US president is running a re-election campaign and decides that sending astronauts ( one being a black model - that's right a model. Quote " can't you see I'm pretty") to the moon would increase her popularity.

The expedition team run in to Nazis who had migrated to and colonized the "dark side of the moon" in 1940 to live out the orders of hitler. To return to Earth in the future to bring peace and perfection to earthlings, or so some of the naive Nazis thought.

A few of the many questions we thought of throughout the movie are; how are they surviving on the dark side of the moon without being detected, wheres food coming from, where is the air being generated from, how did they get so much metal to create their buildings/ ships/ mining and storage equipment.. etc.

The movie is full of interesting tidbits of BS, like the Albinoiser, turning the black model white "as a snowflake". The whole pretense of Nazis living on the moon and incorporating an iPhone into their largest ship and be able to use its processing power to start up and run the ship.

The only factor of the movie making it watchable is the comedy and the fact that it is so bad it is hilarious. Though I guess that was the goal of the filmmakers.

A few more recent topics were touched on; The UN treaty of not militarizing space was made fun of with all countries, except Finland, arming their space stations. The Russian MIR, one that should have been destroyed, makes an appearance and it had pretty nice weapons. North Korea attempted to take credit for the military base on the moon, an obvious jibe. Incorporating some internet memes, such as hitlers downfall, blowing up part of the moon to get a clear shot at the Earth and the ridiculous things the PR manager comes up with are just a few hilarious things that cropped up.

Definately an onion movie! Good for a temporary lobotomy. Not a movie I would see again but I can see it becoming a cult classic. Not as memorable as Spaceballs but I haven't seen that movie in a long time :).

Achtung! Do not drive after viewing, may experience temporary brain and sensor impairment.

Nazis on the Moon!

Also does anyone else think that halfway through the movie the main female German starts looking heaps like Shakira?

Watched: 11th May 2012

 

The Avengers 2012 - Joss Whedon is a genius!

We saw The Avengers the night it came out at the cinemas and since then I've been thinking of how I should write a review for it.

I would rate it a 5 +++++ out of 5!

No review I write could do justice to the movie. Just to indicate how much we loved the movie, we watched it again the week after and may potentially see it in the cinemas again. I've never watch a movie in the cinemas twice let alone 3 times.

It appeals to fans of the Marvel franchise, fans of Joss Whedon and people who just like to watch movies, it was brilliant. Checking out forums after opening night there were many posts of " It was Awesome!!!" ( my thoughts exactly) and the only complaint we came across was that other people in the cinema were laughing too loud and applauding at the end of the movie, something that I agree with ( why applaud to a cinema screen?).

The Avengers was a prefect mixture of character interaction, bit of back story from the previous marvel movies, action - and not just action for the sake of action (transformers!), technological eye candy + hunky male (& female) eye candy and perfect comedic timing.

Stan Lee also does his customary appearance in the movie.

The only movies necessary to watch before watching the avengers would be Thor and the story of Captain America. Anyone who still hasn't seen it... YOU SHOULD GO SEE IT!! IT WAS FRIGGING AWESOME!!

Hulk smash!!


 

 

 

Battleship - Review

Battleship is an epic-scaled action-adventure movie based on the Hasbro board game, battleship.

I'd give it a 3.5 out 5.

Directed by Peter Berg, the movie stars Taylor Kitsch (John Carter) as Lt. Alex Hopper, a US Navy Tactical Actions Officer on the USS John Paul Jones; Alexander Skarsgård as Hopper's older brother, Stone, Commanding Officer of the USS Sampson; Liam Neeson as Admiral Shane, the commanding officer to Alex and Stone Hopper; Brooklyn Decker as Samantha Shane, a physical therapist, Admiral Shane's daughter and fiancé to Alex Hopper and Rihanna as Petty Officer Raikes, a weapons specialist on the USS John Paul Jones.

The movie introduces Alex Hopper and his brother Stone having a drink at a bar. Alex tries to pick up a women, Samantha Shane, in a most unconventional way, illustrating his impulsive and crazy decision making skills.

Skipping forward a few years Alex has join the Navy with his brother and they, along with a fleet of ships are embarking on a training exercise. After investigating some strange debris, the fleet is attacked and a force field is erected around enemy forces, cutting off contact between a few naval ships the rest of the fleet. Alex Hopper is left as the highest ranking officer and needs to take command. Leading the trainees against an unexpected enemy invasion.

Considering they'd based this movie on a game created almost 70 years ago, I think they did quite well. There was an easy to follow storyline broken up with a lot of action scenes and speckled with comedic relief.

There were implausible parts of the movie (aside from aliens invading.. Maybe) like being able to drift a 100 year old steam powered battleship but not so much that it wasn't expected in this kind of action film.

Surprisingly Rihanna's first debut into film was not terrible. Her character is a tough girl, weapons operator with more common sense then some of her fellow crewmen. She could have been a bit more animated but I'm not sure if thats the way she was trying to play her character. All in all I was expecting worse.

I'd watch the movie again if I wanted to see an action flick that you could just sit and enjoy without having to think too much about where the story was going.

Here is the battleship goldilocks featurette - Explaining what goldilocks planets are; spoiler alert!

 

Watched: 16th April 2012

 

Wrath of the Titans - Review

Hello fellow movie-goers,

Recently we went and saw Wrath of the titans which is the sequel to clash of the titans. It is a 99 minute feature that in my opinion, was way too long. Generally I don't care how long a movie is, I've even seen a couple of 3 hour Bollywood movies that were great! However, 20 minutes to go I could not wait for the movie to be over.

I'd give this movie a 1.5 out 5.

The CG and a sprinkling of humour was just about the only good things about the movie. So if you're interested in watching an action movie without much care for a storyline then this is it! But watch it on DVD.

There's a bit of a synopsis below and then major spoiler alert so anyone still keen on seeing the movie. Please read it after you've seen it.

The story takes place about ten years after Perseus (Sam Worthington) saved the world from the Kraken. He is determined now to spend the rest of his life as a simple fisherman with his son, Helius (John Bell). Meanwhile, people have lost faith in the gods and stopped praying leading to the weakening of their powers and in turn, their ability to imprison demons and of course their Titan father Cronos. Zeus (Liam Neeson), Perseus' father, tries to enlist his help but he is reluctant until Poseidon (Danny Huston) appears instead of Zeus and informs him that Zeus has been captured by Hades (Ralph Fiennes) and Perseus' half brother Ares (Edgar Ramirez). To save his father he must travel to Tartarus, a prison deep in the heart of Hades' realm. Along his journey he enlists the help of Poseidons' son Argenor (Toby Kebbell), Queen Andromeda (Rosamund Pike) and the Fallen one, Hephaestus (Bill Nighy), a god stripped of his powers.

Here are some of the things that totally ruined the movie for me: SPOILERS!

1. There was no development of characters they were just thrown together in a pitiful attempt of a storyline. The relationship between Perseus and his son Helius was a sham used to imply a vague message about loyalty between fathers and sons. Which was truly a stupid idea anyway because all of the main male characters are related.
   
2. Sam Worthingtons Australian accent was once again star of the show. Maybe it was deliberate but there was no attempt to standardise any of the accents. Ares and Zeus both had American accents. Hephaestus and Helius spoke with british accents.
   
3. I dislike it when movies are inconsistent, they've outlined the rules of the world but they don't stick to it. An example; when he has the two headed monster in a hold in the beginning of the movie. "The venom is flammable don't let it get on you", fair enough. One of the heads is spitting venom on him and has fire clearly churning in the back of its throat why isn't it covering him in flames trying to get away or if he can't, why hasn't our hero also caught on fire being so close to the flame and covered in the venom, especially when he somehow manages to get it to set itself on fire.
   
4. When they're in the labyrinth to tartarus and Perseus is split up from Andromeda and Argenor. If even gods cannot navigate the way without the map how is he so lucky to stumble onto the right track and be able to meet up with his companions.
   
5. When he is battling Cronos, how is he and pegasus able to fly through a wall of fire with out a scratch or burn. The amount of times Perseus is severely and seemingly life threateningly injured but recovers in the next scene gives no substance to the reality that the movie is supposed to create. Especially since the gods seem to be dropping like flies.
6. And at the end, what are they preparing for, if he already destroyed Cronos? There was nothing said about the other titans. No armies to be spoken of what are they preparing for? Is it like spaceballs? "preparing, your always preparing, just go!"
   

 

This movie was really just a huge waste of money, for us to watch and for them to make. The only thing good about it was the CG.